Palmer Trinity School

W hile that may have been true for an Apollo mission, the truth is that failure is always an option, and it's one we should embrace for ourselves as an example to our children. Failure is inevitable. How we define and how we respond to it should be the focus. Our desire to provide opportunities and experiences for our children is rooted in love. We wish to give them a life as good or better than we have had. We want to protect them, shield them from difficulties, smooth out the rough spots, and clear the path for them to succeed. Failure, or lack of success, doesn't feel good, and we want to spare our children that pain. However, if we agree with the premise that failure is inevitable, then we will only be able to put it off for our children for a time. If young people have not learned how to deal with minor setbacks, they will not develop the mindset to take on challenges, nor the resilience necessary to respond to those inevitable more significant failures. Carol Dweck and her research associates from Stanford University have studied people's responses to failure for much of the past two decades. She has written and spoken widely about growth vs. fixed mindset. While her initial research focused on school children and their perceptions of their own abilities to learn, Dweck's ideas have been expanded to include life coaching, athletics, and even medical practices. TED talks have been given on the topic, conferences and workshops have been delivered, and videos have been created, all around the notion of growth vs. fixed mindset. A simplified version of this idea is the "I Think I Can" attitude. Effort is important, but trying over and over without developing new skills will not likely result in success. Similarly, some people believe that praise will cause children to be successful. But empty praise such as, "You're so smart!" or even "I just expect you to do your best, even if that results in a low grade," often has the opposite effect on our children. Dweck's position is to "praise the process, not the person." The foundation of a growth mindset is effort. That is, while I have not yet been successful at a particular task (solving a quadratic equation, shooting a free throw, playing a piece of music), with continued effort, along with new strategies or approaches, I can achieve success. My response to failure is evidence of my mindset. Viewing the failure as an end point, or outcome, suggests a fixed mindset—"I'll never learn this; I'll never be good at this." Viewing the failure as an opportunity suggests a growth mindset —"What can I do differently next time? What can I learn from this mistake? From whom can I get feedback that will help me succeed?" Your mindset affects your approach to future challenges. In short, an individual's BELIEF that change and growth are possible, and a FOCUS on process instead of outcome are demonstrative of a Growth Mindset. It must be emphasized here that this notion of growth vs. fixed mindset is a spectrum, and any individual could lean toward one or the other depending on the circumstances or context. Developing the ability to view challenges and mistakes as opportunities for growth will help young people respond to inevitable setbacks with greater resilience. Appreciating the need for effort and accepting feedback will help enhance their problem-solving abilities. Real learning requires struggle. The ability to navigate the rough spots and bumps in the road can only develop by going through them, not by avoiding them. ...praise the process, not the person." Responding to Failure "Failure is not an option" By Kathleen Lamiell, School Psychologist and Learning Specialist palmertrinity.org 24 PERSPECTIVES

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